It was in the dreary month of November,
The gloomy days grew shorter,
The wind tore the foliage off the trees,
As I approached the German border.
And as I reached the border line,
I felt a mightier throb
Within my chest, I even think,
I nearly began to sob.
— Heinrich Heine
Germany, a winter tale
I think one reason why Heine’s poem is popular is that here, winter starts in November and ends in April. We had some sunny days earlier this month, but this week, it was freezing cold. Winter in April.
I’m a big fan of cashmere. It’s soft, light, and warm. It’s like a second skin. On these cold days, cashmeres are my best friend, bringing me not only warmth and comfort but also independence and confidence. Why independence and confidence? Because I don’t need anyone else to warm me up. I can warm myself up.
Some people joke (or maybe they mean it seriously?) that the reason why they need a lover is that they want to stay warm on cold days.
I meet people in real life who stay in a relationship not because they love each other deeply, but because they can’t bear to spend time alone. They feel awful when they don’t have someone beside them, especially when they sleep. They fear loneliness. In reality, they are often hurt by their partner and don’t feel happy most of the time. They prefer to be unhappy than to be alone.
The word “warm” can have various meanings: warmth in terms of temperature, the warmth of not feeling lonely, and the warmth of being supported by someone else.
There is a distinct difference between “lonely” and “alone”. Being alone doesn’t necessarily mean feeling lonely. However, sadly, many people feel lonely when they are alone.
It is not shameful to be alone. However, it’s worth considering if you’re harming yourself just to avoid being alone.
Being with someone doesn’t automatically provide the security you seek. It requires effort and pain to be with someone who isn’t right for you, who doesn’t care for you. It’s a passive act to remain in despair just to avoid being alone.
Get up and seek peace for yourself.
You think you need a lover to provide warmth, care, security, and promise. But in the end, you realize the only one you can rely on is yourself.
You work hard and earn your reputation.
You secure yourself with your outstanding performance and unbeatable intelligence.
You buy the cashmere yourself to stay warm on cold days.
You are self-sufficient, independent, and free.
Perhaps someday, when you buy cashmere for yourself, you meet someone else doing the same.
You smile at each other and immediately recognize that you belong to the same species: those who are self-sufficient and enjoy life as it is.
You exchange numbers and meet frequently.
You discover that the prerequisite for being each other’s “cashmere” is being able to keep yourself warm and happy.
You decide to be together. You realize two people can only be happier together if they can be happy as individuals when alone.
Don’t mistake lovers for the sense of security and happiness you seek. True joy comes from within. You are your own guardian.
Love is good. Cashmere is good. Before you find your loved one, get good things for yourself and be happy.
Sometimes, you don’t need a lover. You just need the sense of security and care. You need cashmere.
